


touch the sky

by AlmondRose



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Panic Attacks, nobody gives alfred a hug and tbh he deserves it...., the JL might bc ooc but [shrug emoji], the ending might be Super Cheesy but its what they deserve, this is literally SO self-indulgent like u wouldn't beleaf, this is...sad in some places
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 09:58:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12504812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmondRose/pseuds/AlmondRose
Summary: tragedy strikes, the batfam is left to pick up the pieces, and once again steph finds herself having to prove to the world that she can do anything she wants.





	touch the sky

Even at the funeral, the reality of the situation doesn’t really set in. 

 

Steph is numb and cold even though she’s pretty sure it’s the middle of summer, but she folds her arms and pretends that she can feel any emotions. 

 

She hasn’t cried yet. 

 

Damian stands tucked to her side and neither of them move the entire time. 

 

Clark comes by and hugs them both; Diana takes her hand to squeeze it in comfort and retreat; Cassie stands next to Steph for a solid ten minutes before leaving without a word; even Wally, who Steph’s never spoken to before, comes over to them and asks if they needs anything through the tears on his face and accepts the tissue Steph produces before vanishing. 

 

It might start to rain; Steph isn’t sure. At some point--probably after it’s began to rain--Alfred’s hand is on her shoulder and he nods towards the manor; Steph turns and goes inside, vaguely aware of Damian’s hand in hers and him following her inside. 

 

They get inside and Steph’s aware of voices; she turns to the study and Jason is curled up by the fireplace and Roy is kneeling beside him, holding his hand and whispering into his ears. 

 

Jason has tear tracks down his face. 

 

Why hasn’t Steph cried?

 

She sits down on the nearest chair and Roy nods at her before turning back to Jason. 

 

Damian crawls up onto Steph’s lap and she holds him close to her. 

 

The funeral was suffocating. 

 

This is better. 

 

Alfred finds them like that, hours later--Jason and Roy on the floor by the fire, not saying anything anymore, Steph and Damian curled up in a chair with Titus at their feet. 

 

Alfred sighs. 

 

“The last of them are gone,” he says, and he takes off his suit jacket and sits down; heavy. 

 

“Is Babs--” Roy starts, and Alfred says, “I insisted she return home.” 

 

“Good,” Steph says, and her voice surprises everyone, including herself. “She should be with her--with her--”

 

“Yeah,” Roy says, not letting her finish. Steph is grateful. “Was Ollie there?”

 

“He asked after you,” Alfred says. Roy nods. Steph’s not sure what he’s thinking. 

 

Quiet falls over them. 

 

Steph gets out her phone and texts Babs. 

 

coolerthantim: _ you home? _

 

Steph frowns and changes her name. 

 

delphi: _ yeah. how are you all holding up? _

 

steph: _ idk _

 

delphi:  _ you don’t have to know _

 

steph:  _ i know _

steph:  _ i’ve been thinking of some designs _

 

delphi: oh?

 

steph:  _ i want glowy purple eyes, purple gloves & belt….and i want my thigh belt _

 

delphi:  _ i know you do _

delphi:  _ i’ll sketch something up.  _

 

steph:  _ thanks _

 

She pockets her phone and Damian curls up closer to her chest. 

 

Jason gets up and moves to the radio on Bru--on the desk. He presses a button and the first notes of a familiar song fill the air and without missing a beat Jason picks up the radio and smashes it on the ground. It breaks and Jason leaves, scrubbing his hands over his eyes and slamming the study door behind him. 

 

“Oh--oh dear--” Alfred says, his voice faint, and Damian launches himself off of Steph’s lap and lurches for the doors, slipping out with Titus on his heels. 

  
Steph follows and she finds the boys in the living room, Damian on Jason’s lap this time and Jason hugging the kid close. 

 

Steph sits next to them and Jason pulls her onto his lap, too, and she buries her face in his neck and she tries to breathe.

 

\----

 

“Are you sure?” Babs asks, and Steph nods, clenching her fists. 

 

“The sooner the vigilante life is back on track, the less suspicious the criminals,” she says. “Besides, it’ll be a good distraction.”

 

“Okay,” Babs says. “I’ll be over in a few with the new suit, then.”

 

“Great,” Steph says, relieved, and Babs ends the call. Steph turns on her heel and Jason raises an eyebrow. 

 

“Are you sure?” he asks. 

 

“ _ Yes,”  _ she says. “I’m not about to make  _ you  _ do it.”

 

“Yeah, but,” Jason says, then he swallows. “I could handle it.”

 

“I can handle it, too,” she says. “It’s fine.”

 

“If you say so,” Jason says. He turns on his heel and heads for the stairs. Before he leaves, though, he calls over his shoulder, “Your hands are clenched.”

 

She looks down and forces her fists open. Her palms are red and there’s little crescents from her nails. 

 

\----

 

There’s a knock on the door. Steph hears Alfred open it. 

 

“Hello, Pennyworth,” a cheerful voice says, and Steph dashes for the door, sliding on her socks. Vicki Vale stands in the doorway. 

 

“Miss Vale,” Alfred says stiffly. Vicki turns to Steph. 

 

“And you’re Stephanie Brown, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Steph says. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m here to see how the family is holding up,” Vicki says, and Steph squints. 

 

“No thank you,” she says. “We’re not taking calls.”

 

Just then, someone taps Vicki on the shoulder and she whirls around. Lois Lane stands there. 

 

“Is this a bad time?” she asks. 

 

“No,” Steph says, and Lois walks past Vicki and hugs Steph. 

 

“Want me to get rid of this shark for you?” she whispers in Steph’s ear. 

 

“It’s okay,” Steph says back, and Lois nods and steps back. 

 

“You  _ just  _ said you aren’t taking calls,” Vicki says, her eyes narrowed. 

 

“We had an  _ appointment,”  _ Steph says. “Besides, Lois is pretty much family.”

 

“I just can’t believe you’re letting the  _ Planet  _ get your story out before the  _ Gazette,”  _ Vicki huffs. “Where’s your city loyalty?”

 

“That is the most insensitive thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Lois says dryly. “They’re  _ mourning.”  _

 

Lois shuts the door in Vicki’s face, and Steph’s glad that Alfred vanished--probably to get Jason and Damian--before, because otherwise she’d probably get a scolding about manners. 

 

“Come on,” Lois says. “Let’s go find your brothers.”

 

\----

 

Babs arrives after Lois leaves, and they head to the Batcave together. 

 

“You ready?” Babs says, and she pulls the bag from the back of her wheelchair and hands it to Steph. Steph opens it and pulls out the costume, inspecting the armor and the colors and lines. 

 

“I like it,” she says, her voice hoarse.

 

“You don’t have to go through with this,” Babs says. 

 

“Yes, I do,” Steph says. 

 

\----

 

Steph puts on her new costume. It reminds her of the Batgirl costume, except heavier. She puts on the cowl and walks around the divide to see Damian, already dressed. 

 

“This okay?” she asks, and Damian turns to look at her. 

 

He inspects her, head to foot, and nods. 

 

He looks sad, but she can’t blame him. 

 

“Wow,” a new voice says, and Steph turns to see Roy and Jason descending the Batcave stairs. Roy’s in his Arsenal outfit and Jason’s wearing all but his helmet. 

 

“You look great,” Roy says. 

 

“Thanks,” Steph says. She turns on the voice modifier. “Do I sound like him?”

 

“Enough,” Jason says. 

 

“Good,” Steph says, and she turns to Damian. “Are you ready?”

 

He nods, and Steph turns to the Batmobile.  _ I can drive it now,  _ she thinks, and the irony curls in her gut. 

 

Oracle’s voice fills her ear. 

 

“Good luck, Batman,” she says. 

 

Steph nods. 

 

“Come on, Robin,” she says. “We’ve got a job to do.”

  
  


\----

 

The Batsignal is up. 

 

Steph follows it and lands behind Babs’s dad. 

 

“Gordon,” she says, her voice modifier doing all the work for her. Gordon whirls around and blinks behind his glasses. 

 

“Batman?” he asks. She steps out of the shadows and she knows her costume is different, but she also knows that she resembles Batman, at least enough. 

 

“Yes,” she says. 

 

“You look….different,” Gordon says awkwardly. Steph doesn’t respond, but Damian must reveal his face next to her, because Gordon seems placated. 

 

Having the same Robin would assuage his fears, Steph supposes. 

 

“Why is the signal on?” she asks. 

 

“There was a robbery,” he says. “Catwoman.” 

 

Steph doesn’t ask where it was, just nods and prepares to grapple away, but a blue shape descends in between them and she stops. 

 

“I’ve been keeping an eye on Gotham,” Superman says, and then he actually  _ looks  _ at her and blinks in surprise. 

 

“Expecting someone else?” Steph says, anger welling in her chest. Why doesn’t anybody think that she can do it? Why does everyone think it’ll be Jason? Why not her?

 

“No, I’m just--surprised,” Superman says, lamely. Steph looks up at him and meets his eyes. 

 

Usually she’d be afraid, but her anger fuels her and her cowl makes her invincible. 

 

“No metas in Gotham,” she says, and Superman visibly flinches. 

 

“Um,” Gordon says. “Not to get in between this, but--” Superman turns to face Gordon and Steph takes the opportunity to vanish into the shadows, pulling Damian behind her. 

 

\----

Steph’s anger runs out some point during the process of taking off the Batman suit. 

 

She’s in a tank top and leggings and she sags onto the floor of the locker room, burying her face in her hands and crying into her palms. 

 

She can’t remember if she’s cried since they all--since the accident. She can’t remember when everything’s felt  _ real,  _ but now she’s Batman and nobody thinks she can do it and Steph’s  _ never  _ thought about being Batman before but she can’t-- _ won’t-- _ make Jason do it and Damian’s barely fourteen and it’s just--she’s not even twenty yet and she can’t  _ breathe  _ and she’s Batman and  _ everyone  _ she’s ever loved died and she just yelled at Superman and--

 

Steph’s only aware she’s hyperventilating when Alfred emerges from the shadows and slides to the ground next to her. 

  
Steph can’t imagine doing any of this without Alfred, and she turns and cries into his shoulder and he pats her back soothingly and Steph wants to  _ scream _ but instead she tries to get her breathing under control before Damian or Jason find her like this. 

 

\----

 

As soon as she feels better, Steph heads upstairs. She’d heard the others come in, and she doesn’t go to her own room. 

 

There’s a whole guest wing of the manor, and Steph goes there. The master guest room is at the end of the hall, and Steph pushes the door open. 

 

Jason and Roy are already curled up on the bed, and Damian is sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest on the chair near the closet. Titus is sprawled on the half of the bed Jason and Roy aren’t occupying. 

 

The four of them--Titus included--have gravitated to this side of the manor, Steph suspects, because it’s enough like home that it’s comforting, but unfamiliar enough that it’s not painful. Roy, of course, goes where Jason goes. 

 

The sharing-a-room thing had come without discussion, although Steph’s not sure how long it’ll last. 

 

She crawls onto the bed and shoves Titus over; he gets up and gives her a sour look before moving to the foot of the bed. 

 

“How’d it go?” Roy asks. 

 

“Fine,” Steph says. “I think. I yelled at Superman.”

 

Jason snorts and Roy says, “Well, we all have those days.”

 

“How’d she do, buddy?” Jason calls out to Damian, and Damian looks up, startled, and shrugs. 

 

“Thanks for the confidence,” Steph says dryly, and Damian gets up from his seat on the chair and crosses the room to flop across Steph and Jason, reaching his arm out to pet Titus under the chin. 

 

“And patrol for you guys?” Steph asks. 

 

“Fantastic,” Jason says. 

 

“Great,” Steph says. She reaches over to the bedside table and picks up a comm. 

 

“What’s that?” Jason asks. Steph fiddles it between her fingers. 

 

“Um,” she says. “Justice League. Babs got it for me.”

 

“Oh,” Jason says. 

 

“I’ve been in the Justice League before, and it’s not a huge deal,” Roy says. “It’s like Teen Titans, just that Superman is there. And there’s less adults yelling at you.”

 

“I was never in Teen Titans,” Steph says, then she puts the comm in her ear and rolls away to put her back to Jason and Roy. “Whatever.”

 

She closes her eyes and pretends to fall asleep. 

 

Jason and Roy catch the drift, and no more words are spoken until morning.

 

\-----

 

Lois’s article splashes across the front page and it’s respectful and nice and it clearly says that the Waynes are in mourning and to not bother them. It doesn’t say anything about Damian not talking anymore and Steph is grateful. 

 

Steph texts Lois and thanks her. 

 

Lois:  _ no problem :) _

 

Steph:  _ and uh, did clark tell u about what happened last night?  _

 

Lois:  _ yes  _

Lois:  _ you didn’t do anything wrong _

Lois:  _ you have to remember that b was his best friend and that he’s unused to seeing anyone else as batman _

 

Steph:  _ i mean...im not used to being batman either _

 

Lois:  _ i know _

Lois:  _ just give him time _

 

Steph:  _ i’ll try _

 

Lois:  _ and that’s the best you can do _

Lois:  _ and for the record, i think you’ll make an excellant batman _

Lois:  _ *excellent _

 

Steph:  _ thanks _

 

She’s not sure how to convey how much that means to her.

 

\-----

 

“Go home, little girl,” Oswald Cobblepot warbles that night, and Steph punches him across the face. 

 

\----

 

Steph lays on the floor of the Batcave and the thought occurs to her that this is  _ hers.  _ She’s in charge and the Batcave is  _ her  _ turf now. 

 

“Wild,” she says out loud. Batcow moos from somewhere across the cave and she sighs. 

 

Maybe it’s hers but she’s not sure if she’s ready for that. Instead she just lays there and counts the bats while Alfred the cat pads across the cave floor and takes a seat on her stomach. 

 

She’s inherited a  _ zoo.  _

 

\----

 

The comm in her ear beeps and Steph startles; Diana’s voice fills her head, saying, “Justice League to Watchtower. Meeting tonight.”

 

Anxiety twists in her stomach and Steph looks around frantically, although she’s just curled up in the library and nothing near her would help. What should she do? Should she be there  _ now?  _ What’s the definition of “tonight”? Is she--is she  _ in charge  _ of the meeting?

 

Steph leaps to her feet and decides it’s better safe than sorry; she darts to the study and twists the clock’s hands. 

 

The clock opens and she descends into the Batcave, pressing the comm in her  _ other  _ ear and tuning it to O’s channel. 

 

“Oracle,” she says. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’m headed to the Watchtower,” Steph explains, heading to her costume and starting to strip of her regular clothes. “I need you to be listening.”

 

“Gotchu,” Oracle says. “I’ll prepare a teleport for you.”

 

“Thanks, O,” Steph says gratefully, pulling on her armor. 

 

She finishes getting dressed and shoots a text to the others before heading over to the teleport in the corner of the cave. 

 

“I’ve programmed in your information,” Oracle says. “You should be good to go.” 

 

Steph stands in the center of the teleport and everything dissolves around her. When she feels formed again, she steps out and she’s in a room with big windows that look down over the earth. 

 

Steph feels woozy and she turns away, vowing to revel in the sight later. 

 

On the other wall, there’s a line of monitors that span the entire globe. Flash and Wonder Woman are at those. 

 

“Ah, Jason, I see you’ve donned….” Wonder Woman starts, trailing off as she turns to look at Steph. 

 

Steph crosses her arms. 

 

“Not Jason, sorry,” she growls. 

 

“I did not wish to offend,” Wonder Woman says. “I was just under the impression that a more experienced---”

 

“I was Robin, same as him,” Steph says, cutting her off. 

 

“Of course,” Wonder Woman says, and she sounds sympathetic, but Steph turns away, sweeping her cape out behind her in a move she’d seen Bruce do hundreds of times. 

 

She’s out of the room and into the hall when she realizes she’s not sure where she’s going; she turns into the first door she sees and it’s a meeting room. 

 

Maybe  _ the  _ meeting room, Steph realizes, and she stares at the table in awe. There are symbols on the backs of every chair, and she walks around, inspecting each one, until she gets to Wonder Woman. On the other side of her is Superman, and on Clark’s other side sits Batman. 

 

Steph touches the symbol and she desperately wishes that Bruce was still alive, that he was still here. 

 

She closes her fist and turns away from the table, standing in the shadows on one side of the room. She doesn’t want people to see her in there. 

 

\----

 

Wonder Woman is the first to come into the room, about four minutes later. She sits at her seat and Green Arrow and Lanterns come in, the two Lanterns elbowing each other and Ollie seeming resigned to his fate. 

 

Barry and Wally appear at the table with no more warning than matching red streaks in the air. Diana chides them--”No super-speed in the Watchtower”--and Hal comes in. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Jessica asks and Simon says, “But  _ we’re  _ the Green Lanterns of Earth!”

 

“This involves more than Earth, duh,” Hal says, and sits next to them. Earlier, Steph had counted four seats for the Lanterns. She supposes it’s hard to tell who will be where. 

 

Dinah and J’onn come in and sit down. Clark walks in and Diana stands up. 

 

“We might as well start the meeting,” Diana says. 

 

“What about Spooky?” Hal asks, leaning back in his chair, and everyone turns to glare at him. “What?”

 

“You’ve missed some stuff, in space,” Jessica starts to say, tentatively. “Batman--he’s--”

 

“Right here,” Steph says, and she steps out of the shadows. Now everyone’s staring at  _ her  _ and Ollie gives a very loud gasp. 

 

“Of course,” Diana says. “Come sit.”

 

Steph channels her inner Bruce and stalks over to her seat, sitting down. 

 

“That’s not Batman,” Hal whispers, loud and obnoxious. 

 

“Yes, I am,” Steph says, crossing her arms. 

 

“They...got a replacement already?” Simon asks, tilting his head. Steph assumes there’s confusion written all over his face, and it’s  _ not  _ his fault, but his words sting.

 

“Yes,” she growls. 

 

“I thought--”

 

_ \--that all of us were dead? Me, too,  _ Steph thinks. 

 

“No,” she says. “I’m here.”

 

Nobody says anything in her defense, and Diana clears her throat awkwardly. 

 

“Right,” she says. “Let’s begin.”

 

\----

 

_ They don’t let Steph go on the mission.  _

 

Steph wants to scream because nobody trusts her and she stares down at the Earth from space and clenches her fist and wills herself not to cry. 

 

She hears footsteps and Steph tenses. 

 

“Hey,” Jessica says. Steph doesn’t respond. “Listen, uh, Batman, I just...wanted you to know that I’m...sorry about what happened to...Bruce.”

 

_ And Dick and Cass and Tim and Duke,  _ Steph thinks bitterly. 

 

“Thanks,” she says, her voice dry and her modified voice sounding...off.

 

“Are you okay?” Jessica asks. Steph turns to look at her. She doesn’t think anyone’s asked her that. 

 

“No,” she admits after a second. “Not at all.”

 

“Want to talk about it?” Jessica offers, and Steph’s surprised at the offer. 

 

“It’s just...this is just like Robin all over again.”

 

“What?” Jessica asks, and Steph says, “I was Robin for seventy-three days when I was fourteen, and that was the best time of my entire life, and nobody even knows about me.”

 

“Oh,” Jessica says. “I wish I could tell you that I knew, but….”

 

“It’s fine,” Steph says, turning away and crossing her arms. “I know you don’t.”

 

“Hey,” Jessica says, putting her hand on her shoulder hesitantly. “I’m not sure if this will help, but everyone struggles when they become a superhero. Especially if there’s a legacy behind it.”

 

“I know,” Steph says. “I mean, Robin four and Batgirl three over here. And now...Batman the fourth.”

 

She sighs. 

 

“I just need to get used to it,” Steph decides. 

 

“And I’m sure you will,” Jessica says, and Steph doesn’t think about how her stint as Robin blew up in her face. She doesn’t think about how Bruce made her quit Batgirl as soon as someone better came along. She doesn’t think about her disastrous first Spoiler run. 

 

(yes she does)

 

Steph turns off her voice modulator. 

 

“Thanks, Jessica,” she says in her real voice, and then she turns and walks away, and Jessica says, “No problem,” from behind her. 

 

\----

 

Steph goes to leave and Ollie sidles up in front of her. 

 

“Is Roy--” he tries to say. 

 

“Goodbye, Ollie,” Steph says, and Oracle says, “Okay, I’m pulling you back,” and Steph dissolves into nothing. 

 

\----

 

“Is that  _ Spoiler?”  _ Riddler asks, dancing away from Steph’s punch. “Ooh, little baby’s all grown up!”

 

“Shut  _ up,”  _ Steph says, darting for him. Her fist connects with his jaw and he winces. 

 

“Riddle me this,” he says. “Why is a dead bird in the mask of the bat?”

 

“I  _ am  _ Batman,” Steph says. She flips over Riddler’s head and kicks him down. 

 

“We all love a masquerade,” Riddler says, and Steph reaches for his neck and pinches, knocking him out. 

 

“I  _ am  _ Batman,” she says again. 

 

Steph doesn’t believe herself. 

 

\----

 

“What are you  _ doing?”  _ Jason asks, opening the closet. Steph is curled up in the back of a linen closet in the manor, her knees drawn to her chest and warding of a panic attack. “Aren’t you claustrophobic?”

 

Steph nods mutely, and Jason frowns and bends over, scooping her up and dumping her on the couch outside the closet. 

 

“Why were you in a closet?” Jason says, and Steph shrugs. She doesn’t know how to tell him that she’s punishing herself. Jason raises an eyebrow. 

 

Steph sighs and points back to the closet; Jason goes back over there and comes back with a newspaper clutched tight in his hand, almost literally shaking with rage. 

 

“Who wrote it?” he growls. 

 

“Vale,” Steph says in a hoarse whisper. 

 

“I’m gonna get my guns,” he says, and Steph shakes her head. 

 

“No,” she says. “Don’t.”

 

“Like  _ hell  _ I won--”

 

“Jason,” Steph says. “Please.”

 

Jason sags and the newspaper falls from his hands. He sits down next to her and pats her back. It’s a little awkward but she’s glad he’s there. 

 

“Can I  _ please  _ shoot her?” he asks after a minute. 

 

“No,” Steph says. 

 

“Don’t know why I’m even listening to you,” Jason mutters, but he draws her closer and makes no move to leave. 

 

“Because I’m--I’m B-batman,” Steph says, and her whole body shakes with sobs. She can’t do it. She’ll never be good enough. Never, never, never, and everyone knows it. 

 

Who’s she kidding?

 

“Shh, Steph, listen to me,” Jason says, and Steph wonders how much of that she just said out loud. “You’re gonna get better, okay? You’ll be fine. Okay? And if things get too rough--I can be Batman, if I have to.”

 

“No,” Steph insists. “I can do it.” 

 

“Okay,” Jason says, and they both continue to sit there, the newspaper lying on the floor beside them, the headline reading _NEW PURPLE-CLAD FEMALE BATMAN: IS GOTHAM HEADING FOR RUIN?_ mostly forgotten. 

 

\-----

 

Damian finds her and pulls her outside. 

 

There’s a pile of newspapers on the patio and Steph inspects them. All of them are Vicki’s article and Steph kinda wants to throw up. Has he been collecting them?

 

Damian taps her shoulder and Steph turns, confused, and he hands her a lighter. 

 

Oh. 

 

Damian pours a bunch of what must be lighter fluid all over the pile and gestures to her. 

 

Steph ignites the lighter and touches it to the lighter fluid; the whole pile goes up in flames. 

 

It’s immensely satisfying. 

 

Steph watches the fire and Damian takes her hand and she squeezes it. The fire flickers in the fading light of the day and it occurs to Steph that summer is coming to an end and she’s not sure if Damian’s supposed to go back to school or not. 

 

The fire burns bright and Steph thinks about what the article means and how it made her feel and she resolves to prove them all wrong.

 

The feeling that curls in her chest is one that’s familiar, but Steph hasn’t felt it since the Robin days. It’s a burning desire to prove herself, to be good enough, and Steph welcomes it. 

 

\----

 

“I think--” Steph starts to say but Barry cuts her off to say, “We should split up and hit from behind,” and Barry would  _ never  _ cut Bruce off. The League makes a decision and nobody asks for her input, but when Steph stands to leave, Clark calls her back and tells her to gear up. 

 

Steph’s first big League mission.    
  


This’d better go right. 

\----

 

It doesn’t go right and the League are all injured and Steph’s hiding in a warehouse, with the fear infected Joker and the regular Scarecrow wandering around looking for her. 

 

Over the League comm Diana yells something about regrouping, and when Steph stumbles to her feet, cradling her broken arm, and saying “I’ll be there,” Diana says, “No, stay where you are.”

 

Anger rushes, red hot in Steph’s ears. 

 

“No,” she hisses. “I have a plan.”

 

“You don’t need to--”

 

“Yes, I do,” Steph growls. “I want Flash and Superman over to me. Wonder Woman, Arrow, Canary, find Toymaster. Manhunter and Green Lanterns, go after Cheetah and Cold. Use the element of surprise. Lure them out without revealing that there’s more than one of you there. Once they’ve revealed themselves, beat them down before the other one or two come in from the side. Once everyone’s defeated, we go after Sinestro as a unit.”

 

There’s silence in the comms and Steph worries that she’s overstepped. 

 

After a long moment, Flash whistles. 

 

“Good idea,” he says.

 

“Batman usually is full of those,” Superman says, and Steph almost falls over in relief. “Flash and I will be there soon. The rest of you; split up!”

 

\----

 

It works it works it works and Superman offers to carry her to the Batcave and he calls her “Batman” like a million times and Steph thinks her heart could burst. 

 

She tells him no about the carrying her thing, instead calling up Robin--mostly so he could see that she’s not alone, Batman’s still a family unit. 

 

Robin comes and Superman blinks like he’d forgotten. 

 

“So Batman and Robin still fly, huh?” he says, with a fondness that makes Steph’s chest ache. 

 

“Yeah,” she says. 

 

“How do you like the new Batman?” Superman asks Robin, and Damian looks like a cornered animal. Even from behind his domino mask, Steph can tell that his eyes dart between her face and Clark’s. After a second, he reaches out and grabs Steph’s cape. 

 

“Uh,” Steph says. “He hasn’t--he doesn’t--talk. Anymore.”

 

“Oh,” Superman says. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

 

“Yeah,” Steph says, awkward. 

 

“Are you sure you can get home alright?” Superman asks, concerned. 

 

Steph casts a look at Damian. 

 

“Yeah,” she says. “We’re partners. We can handle ourselves.”

 

“Yeah,” Superman says, and he smiles. “I bet you can.”

 

\----

 

Steph and Damian and Jason and Roy are on the couch in the sitting room when a phone rings. Steph looks around to see Damian fishing out his phone.

 

His face is pale and Steph leans to see who it is. 

 

“Mother”.

 

_ Talia.  _

 

Of course she’d call, she’s probably been calling every day since the accident. Damian rejects the call, looking sick. 

 

Steph leans over to hug him closer, and he sighs into her arms. 

 

\----

 

It’s either Ollie or Hal who says some  _ bullshit  _ about Steph being too inexperienced for a mission, and Steph decides she’s actually going to  _ kill  _ them. 

  
She stands up with her fists clenched and she screams. 

 

“Why am I not good enough for you? Is it because I’m a girl? Is it because after the best seventy-three days of my life nobody ever mentioned my stint as Robin ever again? Is it because my dad was the shittiest villain on this planet? Because I’m trying my hardest, and I’d like to see  _ you  _ try and be Batman.”

 

Ollie and Hal both blink, and Wally starts quietly applauding, and Steph says, “If you can give me a reason you think I can’t do it, I’d be glad to hear it.”

 

Nobody says anything and Steph turns and says, “ _ I’m  _ Batman, and you can’t change that,” and she turns to Diana and says, “What do you want me to do?” 

  
And Diana answers, and Steph thinks that maybe--just maybe--she might actually start to believe her own words. 

 

\----

 

Steph stands over a grave that she expects to be more worn than it is. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. 

 

“Hey, Dad,” she says, her voice shaky. “I’m Batman now.”

 

It’s risky to say it out loud, but she has to. 

 

“I’m Batman,” she says again. “Because I did the opposite of what you told me to do, and I kept fighting. I kept fighting, and now I’m Batman. Bet you never thought  _ that’d  _ happen, huh?”

 

She takes a deep breath and exhales, laughing shakily. 

 

“But here I am, and I’m Batman, and I think I’m coming to terms with that. I hope...I think I’m doing a good job around here.” She kicks at the dirt. “Uh. Damian still isn’t talking, but I’m pretty sure he’s doing better. We all are. Also Roy and Jason moved into the manor with us, so it’s actually kinda full. You know. It’s not barren, anyway. I think having people around is good for Alfred. And the rest of us, actually.” 

 

Steph closes her eyes, and says in a rush, “Anyway I hope you’re proud of me and I love you. Don’t tell Jason this encounter ever happened.”

 

She turns away from Bruce Wayne’s grave and sprints back to the manor, feeling like she can feel the eyes of countless ghosts watching her.

 

\----

 

“Warehouse, right below you,” O says, and Steph nods.

 

“Be right there,” she says, and she drops through the roof above, Robin at her heels. 

 

She lands silently and the warehouse seems empty; Steph knows better. 

 

A single spotlight falls across the room and slow clapping fills the air. 

 

Steph takes a step back and Robin follows suit. 

 

“Well well well,” a gratingly familiar voice says and Steph almost keels over and vomits.  “Guess it was true that Batman hadn’t kicked the bucket. They’d been saying you had, you know.”

 

Steph tries to regulate her breathing and Damian raises his sword. Steph’s pretty sure he’s going to charge, but she holds an arm out to stop him. 

 

“Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?” 

 

Steph can barely think, let alone speak without giving anything away. She tries to clear her mind. 

 

“You’ve been selling drugs again,” she says, her voice barely wavering. “You’ve been getting back into the crime underworld.” She’s making this up; she hadn’t known it was  _ him.  _

 

“Ah, well, had to make sure Batman was still around,” he says. “First rule is you always want to know your competition.”

 

At that last word, he finally steps into the light and his gross face is thrown into stark relief, all sharp angles and burnt skin and the terrible grin that haunts Steph’s nightmares pulled across her face. 

 

“Black Mask,” she grits out, and Damian lifts his sword again. 

 

“Come into the light so we can fight like men, Batman,” Black Mask says, and almost of her own accord, Steph’s feet carry her forward. 

 

Black Mask takes a step back when he sees her. 

 

“Oh,” he says softly. “You aren’t Batman.”

 

“Yes, I am,” Steph growls.

 

“No you aren’t,” Black Mask says, walking around her. “You’re a  _ girl.  _ You’re just a little girl playing dress up in a purp-- Purple.”

 

He says that word with such finality her stomach drops to the floor and Steph wants to die. 

 

“Is it true? Can it be? Is little baby Spoiler a  _ bat  _ now?” He laughs and the sound grates on her soul and Steph clenches her fist. 

 

“I’m not Spoiler,” she says. “Not anymore. And I’m not afraid of you.”

 

“Don’t you remember what happened last time?” he asks. “Or did killing you give you amnesia?” 

 

“I’m not afraid,” she says again. “I’m Batman.”

 

And this time, she really truly believes it. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! comments & kudos appreciated! <33333


End file.
